A Mother of the Bride’s Reflection

When Kayla (and Nicholas) got engaged, we had about a year and a half to plan the wedding. At the time, that felt like more than enough. And it really was. We had so many sweet moments during that time of planning; afternoons filled with dress shopping, late-night calls about color palettes, table decor, caterers, and text threads full of ideas and “what do you think about this?” messages. We made lists, checked things off, and felt like we were staying right on track.

One thing we didn’t feel prepared for was…the closer the wedding gets, the faster time moves. Those last 60 days? They disappeared in a blur. Suddenly, we were juggling final fittings, confirming vendors, and organizing all our wedding purchases. A few tips that worked well for us, kept us organized, and saved us some money along the way.

Involve the groom and the groom's family as much as possible. 

This is their day, the bride and the groom. Understanding their vision early, and getting clarification on how involved they want you (the Mother of the Bride) to be. 

Create a shared list of thoughts, ideas, and action items.

Sharing ideas on our Pinterest board, shared lists in our phones, and yes, we even had a kanban board with post-it notes. Every task went on that list — big or small.

1. Be specific about who does what.
   It’s easy to assume someone is handling a detail, but assumptions cause stress. Write down exactly who’s responsible for each task. It saves so many “wait, I thought you were doing that” kind of conversations.

2. Have a day-of coordinator.
   This one is huge. Even the most organized bride and MOB should not spend the wedding day running logistics. Having a coordinator was a complete life saver (thanks, Stacii) and meant that Kayla and I could focus on the joy of the day, not the moving parts behind the scenes.

3. Identify where you can save on costs and where you are willing to splurge.

Splurge worthy…

My daughter and now son-in-law were willing to splurge on the venue, which they fell in love with after the first visit. Their venue, Hillside Farms located in Tenino, WA, was the perfect location for their special day. 

We thought about purchasing a wedding dress online rather than in a bridal shop, as we hear that online we could save approximately $500-$1,000. Once she tried on “the dress” at New Beginnings Bridal Studio, we were sold. 

Cost savings…

We did however find an amazing local seamstress,Nadine at Sweet Francis Sewing Co, and saved money choosing our own seamstress, instead of the one the bridal shop recommended. We’ll be going back to Nadine to have the dress preserved too.

Flowers can be expensive. Instead of buying all fresh flowers, we decided on fresh floral arrangements for the bride and her bridesmaids which we purchased from Safeway. Other grocers also offer this service, which is a cost savings. Less than $100 and the flowers are still thriving five days later.

Floral arrangements for the entry way, in the ceremony and at the bridal party table were faux arrangements that we rented from Something Borrowed Blooms, flowers were delivered the week prior and were returned via US Mail the day after the wedding.

For me, the planning season was more than just about creating a beautiful wedding — it was about the time I got with my daughter. We laughed, we stressed, we celebrated little milestones along the way, and we grew even closer. Watching her step into this new chapter of her life was emotional, yes — but also one of the greatest days and joys.

The excitement and emotions ramped us as family and friends began to arrive to help us celebrate. It was a great pre-week of planning, and we even worked in a game night as an opportunity to merge and get to know the two families more — with the bride and groom, future in-laws, uncles, aunts and friends.

And when the day finally came, it was everything we had dreamed of and more (well, except maybe not the rain).  The planning may have taken a year and a half, but just like everyone says, the wedding day went by in a blink. If you are stepping into the role of Mother of the Bride, my advice to you is to enjoy the journey (all of it), stay present, soak in every moment, and remember that at the heart of it all, it’s about celebrating love with family and friends. 

Thanks to all who helped us celebrate all things love! And congratulations again to both Nicholas and Kayla on their marriage and blessings for a lifetime of love together!!